Being 30+ and living with your parents must be lame; by Saša Čolić


Early December 2012, I was able to document the moving-in party in New Belgrade blocks, since my mate Bora finally got his chance to move in to his own apartment at the age of 33. The whole idea instantly made me think just how much of a bummer is to be well past the age of adulthood and still living under your parent’s roof?

In our earlier was not uncommon to have adult children still living with their parents. Today, as if the phenomenon is becoming more common, it does not reflect very favorably on male-female relationships, particularly when it comes to create a long-term relationship, simple-it doesn’t work. The “kids” have thirty or more years. Maybe they have a job, maybe not. If you have a job, even if the income was good, wages are used as pocket money, parents are the ones who continue to serve, they cook, wash, iron, etc. There are parents who encourage their children to the extended childhood that stay with them – why would they tortured somewhere, who knows how many pulled on rent and bills (even assuming that it would be financially able to), you can stay in the comfort of the parental home?

Indeed, why should they? Cause it’s a normal part of the process of independence and separation from parents. Because as time goes by and as their prolonged childhood staying with their parents, it is more difficult to separate. It takes effort to be separated from a parent, there is a fear of independence, and that fear is becoming stronger.

Long term, men who live in these way women interested in a serious relationship are going to avoid in a wide arc – because they want an independent man, not overgrown boys. Women who live this way often think about how to move out of the parental home only after they get married. The result is often that, after a certain numbers of years in marriage, very strange for the couple to have their own homes, because it’s something they have never experienced. Not to mention that the marriage they do not really like it – before, they use to spend money on clothes and going out, his own pleasure, but now should be allocated to the accounts, for children, for families …

Some would say that because of the hard life we live in, most people probably have no choice but to stay with their parents. However, in some cases, “children” have a high enough income; they just prefer to use it as pocket money rather than on their own subsistence. And where a person’s earnings are not high enough, you can find a friend who are in a similar situation, and rent an apartment as roommates and shared pay bills, taking care of the apartment is definitely not the same as living with mom and dad. If someone really wants to leave the parental home, it is doable. Sometimes easier, sometimes harder, but doable. I don’t try to suggest anyone how to live their own lives. But as for the adults, it would be advisable to really grow up and become independent, that’s the most they can do for themselves.

 

Photographs and observation: Saša Čolić©Kamerades

 

 


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